When Caught in a Trying Situation…
Some days are very good, and some days are not. Let's admit it. Some days seem to be much like the days before… not very good. Bad… worse… and to some point and some areas… really trying. And having seen all that is around you, the world news, current events, impending catastrophes, bombings, killings, melting of the ice, hazardous chemicals in children's toys and clothes, A(H1N1) virus still on the loose and threatening the whole world… name it, and you have seen it… and as you are caught in a really bad and trying day, you look to yourself, then you feel sad, remorse, anger, pity… The economy doesn't look good, and while there are countries with a slightly better outlook in their currency, the rest of the world isn't just following that trail of good news. While many are having the time of their life, you simply aren't. And you aren't asking that much either, you say. And you start to pity yourself. And you pity yourself some more. And still some more. I've been in this kind of self-pity many, many times, and what I have always learned is that it doesn't last forever. Not a lifetime, not a year, not a month, not even a week, and not even a whole day itself. Not even an hour – honest to goodness – no! If you are thinking I do some meditation or do some rhythmic talks, or that like, no, I don't. It simply is reversing the whole process, from the inside out. Self-pity comes when you are looking at others, outside, external, then you look to yourself, to your own internal affairs, inside of you. And what you usually see when you do that is that you see your predicaments rather than your achievements, the things that you lost rather than those that you have gained, those things you don't have, rather than what you have and enjoy. Some things come and go, and there is no point holding and grasping them, then eventually to painfully let them go, willingly or by some force so distressing, and then to force yourself to settle without them. If we only will learn how to hold and let go, we would be happier persons. Well, let me now get to the point that I want to drive home today. Should you be caught in a trying situation, here are some things that you can do to reverse it: Don't lock yourself in your room for more than 30 minutes. Locking yourself in a room without anybody else is like cutting off an already suffering limb. It receives no nutrition and support to nurse it back to life. A ball that is rebounding and slowing down to a halt will stop faster when the area it can move about becomes smaller. Similarly, don't lock yourself in a room. That will make you think more only of yourself and your bad situation. Talk to somebody else. Pick up the phone, or chat with somebody. Let out a bit of steam, but don't do it angrily. Do it calmly, do it patiently. This will help to take your focus out and away from your own self. And as you express yourself calmly and patiently, you are re-composing and re-building your better self. Before you know it, you are peeping out of your box, and you are peeking into the world again. Take a walk and smile to others you meet. Open the door, and get out. Take a walk in the park, observe other people, Stately people, Casual people. Lowly people. And you will be surprised that there are many, many others out there who – if you'd only notice – are in an even more desperate and trying situation than you. You will then appreciate your 'better' position in life, and thank God for letting you go through it – all to make you a better person. And smile to those you meet. You may not know it, but somebody else may just be needing a smile to be brought back to life again. Keep your watch on others, and smile. Read a book. Especially true stories of inspiration, read on other people's lives. One way of the other, you will begin to find some stories that you can identify with, and that what they have gone through in the past you are going through now, and what they did, or what others did to help them, you may yet just make use of, to find help, to get others to help you get back to life again. And when you are done and back to circulation again, get your story into a book, into other's book if you are not writing one, so others will also have a chance to gain an insight from your experience. Listen to inspirational music. The easiest and most accessible of all, is to turn on the radio, or play a CD or a cassette tape, and listen to some lifting music. To inspirational music. And in situations where you are not very much in control of, what you can just easily grab and put in the player is what you would listen to most probably. And that will either be good or bad. So make sure, that while you are not in a bad situation, keep only those items that will be of help to you when you will be in a bad mood (again). The one thing we should learn is to prepare for the next flood – so we are better prepared for the next onslaught. Read your Bible and be aflame once again. The ever-relevant, un-outdated, basic, primary, fundamental principle of human life is already penned down many, many years ago in the Bible. And what better way to find uplifting stories of real people and a real God, with history being played out in the lives of individual men and women, from birth to childhood, to manhood/womanhood, until death, the many facets and events that happened in their lives, all recorded in the Bible, these will surely ring a bell, and throughout the pages, there is always one singular theme: "when in distress, they cried to God, and God helped them." Have you tried that before? Do it again! Call the person you have a rift with and get reconciled. Do unto others what you want others do unto you. And that includes the times that you are so tried and tested. And you seem to be in a lump of jelly that you want to stay on the ground, unmoving, untouched, unfeeling – paralyzed. And when in this state, we simply wanted somebody to come and say a word to us, talk to us, be given a pat on the back, a word of appreciation – whatever… and why not do that yourself? We find ourselves giving a word of advice to somebody who is having a bad day, and why not then 'follow your own advice'? and for once, be on the proactive side. Be the giver, not the receiver. Give the person you have rift with a call. Though not immediately reconciliatory, your phone call will surely start a bridge-building activity. You'll be back together in no time at all. Say "I love you" to your spouse, especially if your spouse is the person you have a rift with. Finally, the saddest moments in your life is when you part from your loved ones in an unpleasant manner. It will affect your whole day, your work, your social life. Like you will bump on any and every thing you come across with while walking, when driving. And mind you, that includes those concrete posts and railings. Like when angry, you are invincible! But actually, that is your weakest moment, when you are controlled by your anger, you are susceptible to almost any action – usually things that will make your regret later – if you happen to be alive still. But when you let down your own guard, and pick up the phone, and make a call to say "I love you", while the effect is not immediate, you know that you are once again at peace with yourself, and given some more time (for sure not very, very long), your spouse will be reciprocating with the very same words of affection. Wooaahhh! Cloud 9! And isn't that life's best gifts? It's the present, and it is only for today, not tomorrow. Easier said than done? Exactly! Actually, it is easier done than not done. And if you do it, you certainly will be jumping back to life, out of the rut, and out into the world - again. And before you know it, you would actually be 'infecting others' with your lively and bubbly countenance, spreading the good news that there is a way to being simply happy and contented than being remorseful and desperate when caught in a trying situation. Why not try it today?
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