And so, after all the trouble, after all the waiting time, after all the frustration and disappointments, we'd be occupying the new flat by next Monday!
And all the while, we thought that the previous owner was simply buying time in order to be escaping the responsibility of reinstalling the balcony grills - a fixture which we deemed is necessary - due to the height, 11th floor, next to the highest in that block, but more importantly, we have kids. Small kids. Playful kids. Unrestrained kids. And a baby.
However, what we initially thought to be a buy-time game or escapade, we got the news that the grill permit was approved by the housing authority. And boy, it really took a time and a season in the review and approval process. I even sent a text message to the previous owner telling that it was taking a long time, while my other contractor only took a day for his renovation permit to get approved.
And how wrong we are in our assumptions!
On the other hand, there are lessons that we have learned some time ago, that were proven once again:
- Think through very well what you do when angry
- In your anger, do not lash out with unkind words
- If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything
- If you aren't really sure of things, better don't think - thinking based on assumptions are usually wrong
- Patience is a virtue
- Live one day at a time
- Be thankful - count your blessings
Think through very well what you do when angry
Getting angry isn't the issue at all. It is when you do things out of control that is. When you let yourself be controlled by your anger, then the problem begins (or continues). When you drink, and you get drunk, and you let yourself loose, controlled by the liquor that you consumed, it is almost the same thing as being under the manipulation of your anger. And most of the time, you don't think when you are angry, simply letting your anger off, steaming out, crashing and hitting on anyone and anything that lies on your way to supposed 'anger dissipation' - to your regret later on.
So rein in your anger. It won't be putting you under its control. You won't fuel its engine, and you won't be swayed by its uprooting power. You would have stayed your ground.
In your anger, do not lash out with unkind words
The most evident display of anger is our words, seconded by our actions. As violent as our actions, are our cutting words and remarks. And boy, how wrong we are about the way we handle and think about our words. It has been a common rebuttal when we were kids, to say,
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.
but that is not true at all. The
physical pain is gone in a day or two, the bruises go away with time, wounds heal and while there is a scar, the pain is no longer felt.
But not our words. They remain embedded in our
brain, and brought up from time to time when similar conditions occur and recur, hurting our feeling and ego afresh.
So restrain your hands, but more than that, restrain your tongue. It isn't just our
spoken words anymore, because we actually can send cutting remarks in our text messages and e-mails, and in all other forms of high-tech-gadget-using communications.
If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything
The old saying still is valid, and so, keeping things in perspective, I'll keep it short: if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. There is always the tendency to be saying a word or two that is misplaced, and even with well-meaning intentions, those misplaced words will spark the flame that fires up the misunderstanding and miscommunication.
As Solomon says it, "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking", and if you want to avoid that, keep away from many words. Talk only when necessary. And be quick to listen instead. Arguments don't die with continuous flow of scathing words and remarks. And remember, the one who talks more is usually the guilty party.
If you aren't really sure of things, better don't think - thinking based on assumptions are usually wrong
Boy, this is another area where we show our commonality as men, though strong, are but weak. Really an irony. We claim to be the top of the created kingdom, but fall so easily, especially with the faculty that we say separates us from all other creatures - our brain. We tend to misuse our brain more than our lower-in-the-rank counterparts.
Why is this so? Because a man's intellect is usually strongly influenced by his emotions. And it is in this area where we mostly go wrong. There is intuition, but
emotion is completely different, and when emotion paints and colors our intellect, and we start thinking and assuming, we are led down the wrong path.
Patience is a virtue
There's always a classic example of how patience plays a very important role in our life. But I am sure that you can think of one in your life where it really happened. And more of when it didn't - when you were impatient.
Point is, you know the difference between being patient and being impatient, where a lot of battles have been won simply by exercising a great deal of patience. For patience, to be the real virtue that it is, patience has to be in overflowing abundance. There is no such thing as an abrupt patience, or a spontaneous patience, or a "God, grant me patience. And I want it now!" thing. You have to have it, and have abundantly.
Why is that?
When it is needed, it is needed like in a sudden, and it is needed in great amount.
So if you don't have that overflowing dam of patience, when the gate is opened, the trickle that you have won't be enough. You need to flood the situation with your deep and abundant patience.
Live one day at a time
When patience is in play, it is teaching you to live one day at a time. And what better way of exhibiting patience than by living one day at a time?
There are many, many things in our life that simply has to wait until the next day. There is no such thing as expediting things, and hoping that it will be completed all in a day.
It doesn't mean that you slow down to a stop, and quit doing things and leave them be. It simply means, sit down and find out what is important, and all the rest can wait. And while many things can't wait, or seem so, pray that you will have the wisdom to sift through the rubble and know which is which.
When everything has been put in their proper places, you'll be thrilled that what you've been pursuing for so long and spent all your energies on are vain things, a chasing after the wind.
If you know what is important in your life, your steps will get some direction, your path will show some clearance, and your vision will start clearing up. The rest will simply be brushed off to the sides.
So live one day at a time.
Be thankful - count your blessings
And if you live until tomorrow, count your blessings. The
Bible talks about 'singing new songs' to the
Lord. And Morrison explained this is not singing a new song every day, but telling in detail daily the blessing and blessings that you receive from God.
Simply, if you can't tell in detail, then you are not mindful of the good things that you get from the Lord. But when you are able to list down in detail what you have, and not fret about what you don't have, or what will not have, then you have learned to be a contented man, a blessed woman, one who can live each day at a time, who won't be distracted (not that you are not affected) by the unpleasant things happening around, but that you can rise above the situation, and be able to face each day with a peaceful heart and mind - and be thankful.
When you are able to list down everything that you are receiving from the Lord, good and bad, and still thank God in everything, then you are able to sing a new song every day. You'll be living one day at a time, and will be able to count your blessings, and give thanks spontaneously.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
His faithfulness extends to all generations!
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